Monday, January 11, 2010

On Restraint

So, dear readers, I owe you an apology for not posting for a week. Since last Monday, I've had all kinds of amazing sex and have purchased a face dildo, but the problem with having sex is that you don't have all that much time to write about it.

So today, class, let's talk about restraint.

I don't necessarily mean in the bondage sense, although that's certainly an aspect of it. I'm talking about the tension that is deliberately created between what you want to be doing and what your instincts tell you is acceptable, and the sex acts that grow out of this tension.

I was talking to a friend of mine about bukkake, that thing where a group of men stand around in a circle and masturbate onto the face of a young woman. This friend said that he liked to look at it, but probably couldn't do it in real life because he felt like it was a "passionless" act. I immediately felt myself starting to disagree. Now, normally when this happens it's just because I'm a stubborn contrarian.

But in this case, I spotted something kind of subtle and wonderful about bukkake. It's a symbolic sex act if there ever was one. A crowd of men stands around a woman and covers her in semen, often without touching her. It's a gesture of mass violation that doesn't require any bodily contact. Under the surface is this teeming mass of sexual feelings, concealed under an act that looks impersonal, even offhand (if you'll pardon the pun.) It's the restraint, the NOT turning the act into a gangbang, that makes it so powerful.

And it's fascinating to me that this act, intended to be a symbol for something else, has, in its bottling of intense emotion, become a desire all on its own.

So, what about you, dear reader? Can you think of a situation where the symbol of an act is more satisfying than the act itself? Or where holding off is more exciting than letting go?

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