Five Days: Or, The List Cometh, 2.0

I haven't been posting as much as I'd like, mostly because there's not that much to post. Spending the holidays with my folks means that I haven't seen Tim in way long, which means that my sex life is pretty much imaginary. The List, epic work that it is, continues to quietly grow in a document named 2010 Classwork. And I'm getting ready to see Tim in five days. My folks are dropping me off in my City, and I'm going to straighten out my apartment, see a few friends, and get started checking off the List items.

It's been a rougher month than I expected it to be, and I find myself getting pretty cranky over missing Tim--something which never really happened in other relationships. Over at Sugarbutch Chronicles (), Mr. Sinclair Sexsmith is giving his (her? hir?) girlfriend "homework", an interesting concept to me, especially since this summer, Tim and I might end up at opposite ends of the planet for a month or so.I hate the idea of us coming together only briefly during the summer, and finding in late August that we have no idea where we are sexually anymore. Being able to assign each other sexual tasks might make it easier to keep us on the same page, connecting our two (currently separate) sex lives in the same way that talking runs a thread between our daily lives.

None of this is stuff I've had to worry about in previous relationships, even long-distance ones, because they were held together mostly with old chewing gum anyway. Unhappiness was a standard feature. My past relationships were like rental cars; I just sort of assumed they could drive over anything. But with Tim, even scratching the metaphorical paint worries me--enough that I, incorrigible pedestrian, have resorted to car metaphors. The problem with having nice things is having to worry about them, which I hate, and take care of them--which, it turns out, is more pleasurable than I ever thought it would be.

So that's my state of mind. The List may be spiraling a little, as my fevered imagination throws things onto it that I'm not sure are possible. For example, getting fucked in the ass with a vibrator, which sounds fantastic in theory but which in real life may end in "ow, ow, no, ow..." But it's never hurt me before to set my sights a little high. Every time I've been a little ambitious--in my writing, in my classes, in my dating--it's been greatly rewarded.

The List Cometh

I love lists. For all things. Last spring I realized that my list-making had gotten out of hand when I put "break up with boyfriend" on my schedule for the day and happily checked it off when I stopped crying. After that I backed off on lists for a while.

But now it's time for a kinder, although probably not gentler, list--things that my boy and I plan to do in bed for the next year. Of course, a good half of the list doesn't actually take place in a bed. I proposed the idea to him a few nights ago and he surprised me with a deluge of requests. I was going to keep the list to ten items, but it's grown way beyond that.

The list is going to keep growing until New Year's Day, when I'll post it and get started fulfilling its naughty demands. Thus far, most of the suggestions are things that don't really push our limits, just things that we haven't gotten around to yet. I think this may need to change. I think that part of the fun of doing exotic things in bed is pushing your partner's limits and your own, seeing if you can be just a little braver. I'm going to try to get him to have some sex out in the fresh air, or at least the semi-fresh air of my city. And I'm definitely going to start encouraging his dominant side. Although by the sound of some of the items on his list, he's already ahead of me on that.

In semi-related news, I found out from a friend that a friend of his, a charming dominant woman, is out looking for new submissives. I asked my friend if he'd make a recommendation that she play with me so that Tim could observe and pick some stuff up, and we're now awaiting a reply. I hope she says yes. This could be the hottest learning experience I've had since--well, since my Lit class last semester.