Basics of BDSM

This is the piece I put together for my friend Em's presentation on sexuality for a bunch of teens and young adults. While I'm totally unqualified to speak to them (I have maybe six months of experience with kinky shit), I think that I've absorbed enough helpful advice to compile the basic Safety Tips list. So here it is:

BASICS OF BDSM
(A thoroughly non-comprehensive guide)

Okay, so what about non-traditional sex, you ask? What about the weird stuff with the whips and the chains and the women in the spiky boots and the…well, the S&M? You can get all kinds of information about it on the Internet, but what do you really need to know before you can start trying it out for yourself? If you’re gonna be swinging a riding crop around, here’s some basics of how to hurt people without, you know, HURTING PEOPLE.
1. Consent. Don’t spring this on anyone. Talk about it beforehand. It doesn’t have to be a scary discussion. Just say what you wanna do and see if they’re all right with it. This is true for all sex, but especially for the kinky stuff.
2. Safewords. At first, I suggest just using “stop”. Have something that means “this is too much and I need it to be over NOW.” Respect it.
3. Get informed! Mistress Matisse at thestranger.com is one of the friendliest dominatrixes on the Internet and she often writes columns about the basics of BDSM, and answers questions like “how do I talk to my partner about kinky stuff?” Scarleteen.com, a site for teen sex ed, has some information about BDSM as well.
4. NO CHOKING. I can’t stress this strongly enough. The people who beat people up for a living, who do all kinds of crazy stuff? Most of them won’t do choking or asphyxiation. No ropes around the neck, no plastic bags on your head, no hands on anyone’s throat. It’ll kill you dead, and then you can’t have sex anymore. And that’s no fun at all.
5. Start easy. Want to spank someone? Don’t just haul off and whack ‘em. You can always go for more intensity later.
6. Stay away from vital organs. If you don’t know where they are, check a medical chart. If you can’t find one, stick to the butt and upper thighs. Also, don’t cut off anyone’s circulation. If you can’t fit two fingers into a binding, it’s probably too tight.
7. Fun stuff. Get an outfit together. Practice your dirty talk. Try walking in your thigh-high boots beforehand. And wave your implements of pain with confidence, knowing that you’ve got a partner who’s willing to try something new and exciting with you. If that last sentence doesn’t apply to you, see step one.

I hope this is useful to the lil' ones (and by lil' ones, I mean kids from probably 16 to 21 or so.)

Man, I don't even know when this event IS and I've got performance jitters. But that's okay, because I'm now the proud owner of a HOLLOW STRAP-ON. It's a pretty neat idea; you put it on and use your man or male-organed partner as a human sex toy. AND it has very elastic straps, so it fits me AND my beloved (but giant) Tim. I've been hankering to try it out...