So I went to the Vagina Monologues tonight. Because my friends all chickened out, I went alone. I mean, what kind of self-aware young feministe am I if I can't even go to a play by myself, right? I'm kind of embarrassed that I even considered not going if I was going alone. But I went, and I had a blast. It was standing room only in the theater, and I found a seat on the aisle stairs just above a butch girl with an afro. Just me and my vagina, taking in a show.
The Vagina Monologues isn't a problem-free work. There's a pretty heavy emphasis on this imaginary "they": i.e., the they who make tampons, thong underwear, and douche sprays. And I think this imaginary they is male. It's strongly implied. So there are some anti-male sentiments, but luckily some pro-male as well. There's this one monologue at the beginning called "Because He Liked To Look At It." And it's about a woman who meets a guy for a one-night stand, and this man LOVES her vagina. He spends easily an hour just examining it and looking at it with an expression of total reverence, and this experience changes forever the way she sees her body.
And I can get behind that. I know that if I'd had some of the negative experiences described in the Monologues, even some of the more minor ones like getting rejected by a guy for having a wet vagina, I'd probably not be anything like as enlightened and body-satisfied as I am now.
The stories they told were incredibly moving, and I encourage people to check out the YouTube videos of the different acts if there's no show in your area. Some of them are painful, and some of them are funny, and some are both. The music acts are the only part of the show that didn't seem to fit. There are three songs, and none of them are vagina-centric enough for me to feel like they fit the theme. I spent the song sequences trying to read my program in the dark and thinking about my vagina.
Maybe that's what those interludes are for. The quiet acoustic guitar, the warmth of the cramped theater, and me, staring at my crotch, thinking about how neat it is that I'm finally beginning to appreciate this strange, magical thing I've got. I never really appreciated my vagina until recently, and this show couldn't have come at a better time. I feel energized, and happy, and ready to go on new adventures in life. Me and my vagina (cunt, coochie snorcher, pookie, pooter, pussycat, snooky), taking on the world.
P.S. This production of The Vagina Monologues was raising money for RAINN (The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.) If you want to donate to them, you can do so at
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Basics of BDSM
This is the piece I put together for my friend Em's presentation on sexuality for a bunch of teens and young adults. While I'm totally unqualified to speak to them (I have maybe six months of experience with kinky shit), I think that I've absorbed enough helpful advice to compile the basic Safety Tips list. So here it is:
BASICS OF BDSM
(A thoroughly non-comprehensive guide)
Okay, so what about non-traditional sex, you ask? What about the weird stuff with the whips and the chains and the women in the spiky boots and the…well, the S&M? You can get all kinds of information about it on the Internet, but what do you really need to know before you can start trying it out for yourself? If you’re gonna be swinging a riding crop around, here’s some basics of how to hurt people without, you know, HURTING PEOPLE.
1. Consent. Don’t spring this on anyone. Talk about it beforehand. It doesn’t have to be a scary discussion. Just say what you wanna do and see if they’re all right with it. This is true for all sex, but especially for the kinky stuff.
2. Safewords. At first, I suggest just using “stop”. Have something that means “this is too much and I need it to be over NOW.” Respect it.
3. Get informed! Mistress Matisse at thestranger.com is one of the friendliest dominatrixes on the Internet and she often writes columns about the basics of BDSM, and answers questions like “how do I talk to my partner about kinky stuff?” Scarleteen.com, a site for teen sex ed, has some information about BDSM as well.
4. NO CHOKING. I can’t stress this strongly enough. The people who beat people up for a living, who do all kinds of crazy stuff? Most of them won’t do choking or asphyxiation. No ropes around the neck, no plastic bags on your head, no hands on anyone’s throat. It’ll kill you dead, and then you can’t have sex anymore. And that’s no fun at all.
5. Start easy. Want to spank someone? Don’t just haul off and whack ‘em. You can always go for more intensity later.
6. Stay away from vital organs. If you don’t know where they are, check a medical chart. If you can’t find one, stick to the butt and upper thighs. Also, don’t cut off anyone’s circulation. If you can’t fit two fingers into a binding, it’s probably too tight.
7. Fun stuff. Get an outfit together. Practice your dirty talk. Try walking in your thigh-high boots beforehand. And wave your implements of pain with confidence, knowing that you’ve got a partner who’s willing to try something new and exciting with you. If that last sentence doesn’t apply to you, see step one.
I hope this is useful to the lil' ones (and by lil' ones, I mean kids from probably 16 to 21 or so.)
Man, I don't even know when this event IS and I've got performance jitters. But that's okay, because I'm now the proud owner of a HOLLOW STRAP-ON. It's a pretty neat idea; you put it on and use your man or male-organed partner as a human sex toy. AND it has very elastic straps, so it fits me AND my beloved (but giant) Tim. I've been hankering to try it out...
BASICS OF BDSM
(A thoroughly non-comprehensive guide)
Okay, so what about non-traditional sex, you ask? What about the weird stuff with the whips and the chains and the women in the spiky boots and the…well, the S&M? You can get all kinds of information about it on the Internet, but what do you really need to know before you can start trying it out for yourself? If you’re gonna be swinging a riding crop around, here’s some basics of how to hurt people without, you know, HURTING PEOPLE.
1. Consent. Don’t spring this on anyone. Talk about it beforehand. It doesn’t have to be a scary discussion. Just say what you wanna do and see if they’re all right with it. This is true for all sex, but especially for the kinky stuff.
2. Safewords. At first, I suggest just using “stop”. Have something that means “this is too much and I need it to be over NOW.” Respect it.
3. Get informed! Mistress Matisse at thestranger.com is one of the friendliest dominatrixes on the Internet and she often writes columns about the basics of BDSM, and answers questions like “how do I talk to my partner about kinky stuff?” Scarleteen.com, a site for teen sex ed, has some information about BDSM as well.
4. NO CHOKING. I can’t stress this strongly enough. The people who beat people up for a living, who do all kinds of crazy stuff? Most of them won’t do choking or asphyxiation. No ropes around the neck, no plastic bags on your head, no hands on anyone’s throat. It’ll kill you dead, and then you can’t have sex anymore. And that’s no fun at all.
5. Start easy. Want to spank someone? Don’t just haul off and whack ‘em. You can always go for more intensity later.
6. Stay away from vital organs. If you don’t know where they are, check a medical chart. If you can’t find one, stick to the butt and upper thighs. Also, don’t cut off anyone’s circulation. If you can’t fit two fingers into a binding, it’s probably too tight.
7. Fun stuff. Get an outfit together. Practice your dirty talk. Try walking in your thigh-high boots beforehand. And wave your implements of pain with confidence, knowing that you’ve got a partner who’s willing to try something new and exciting with you. If that last sentence doesn’t apply to you, see step one.
I hope this is useful to the lil' ones (and by lil' ones, I mean kids from probably 16 to 21 or so.)
Man, I don't even know when this event IS and I've got performance jitters. But that's okay, because I'm now the proud owner of a HOLLOW STRAP-ON. It's a pretty neat idea; you put it on and use your man or male-organed partner as a human sex toy. AND it has very elastic straps, so it fits me AND my beloved (but giant) Tim. I've been hankering to try it out...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
What what? (Sexual Content)
So it turns out that when you separate me and Tim for three weeks and we don't get to have sex, when we come back together we do EVERYTHING. In our first 24 hours together we've had sex five times and knocked a whole litany of things off of the List. This afternoon we did a schoolgirl roleplay where I was the good little Catholic girl and he was the dirty headmaster. I told him I was a virgin and he accused me of touching the other girls. It was so wicked and cute at the same time.
My hopes for the evening were pretty specific. Tim is pretty touchy about taking anything up the ass, but it's one of those things that I find incredibly hot. He's pretty much always worried about poop, which I suppose is a valid fear, but today he agreed to let me use some anal beads on him. I think that purchasing him a black face-mounted dildo clinched the deal. (Oh, kinky Christmas gifts...)
After we got back from our sex shop run, after a lot of getting up, going to the bathroom, sitting back down, getting up and getting water, and every other distraction I could think of, I got him naked and curled up behind him under the blankets with my arms around his waist. I got out some anal beads we'd bought a while ago and never used.
"You want to do it like this?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he said. Tentative, nervous. I like that.
I spread his ass cheeks and pushed the first bead inside. This convulsive shiver went through him and I stroked his back, told him how good he was. Then I reached down and did another, and another.
"Stop there for now," he said. He had that tone in his voice that he uses when he's feeling submissive, soft and gentle and sweet. It makes me want to do awful things to him.
I wrapped one arm back around his waist and grabbed his cock with the other. He was rock hard, which normally doesn't happen when I play with his ass.
"Oh my god," I said. "You like this, don't you? You little slut."
"Yes, ma'am," he said. He was gasping; I've never seen anything like it. "Yes, yes. Your little whore."
"Can you take more?"
"I think so."
I slid the next three beads in, and he groaned and rubbed his ass up against me. It turned me on to see him thrashing, grinding, begging, filled up.
I flipped him over and he tried to jerk off but I slapped his hand away.
"No," I said. "I want to fuck you."
"Oh, please," he said. "Please fuck me."
Where's a condom when you need one? I fished around in the sex box and finally came out with one, ripped open the packaging, and unrolled it onto his cock while he thrust his hips up and down. I pulled up my skirt and slid myself down onto him. I hadn't realized until then how wet I was.
Now, in order to fully appreciate what happened next, you should know that while Tim is a brave man, he's been very hesitant about his ass, especially my ultimate hope for it: fucking it with a strap-on--and more than that, he doesn't usually like the idea of gender play. So what happened next was pretty extraordinary.
"Oh, God!" He thrust up into me from underneath. "Oh god, oh--we're going to buy you a strap-on, and you're going to fuck me in the ass, and I'm going to suck your big cock!"
I concur.
My hopes for the evening were pretty specific. Tim is pretty touchy about taking anything up the ass, but it's one of those things that I find incredibly hot. He's pretty much always worried about poop, which I suppose is a valid fear, but today he agreed to let me use some anal beads on him. I think that purchasing him a black face-mounted dildo clinched the deal. (Oh, kinky Christmas gifts...)
After we got back from our sex shop run, after a lot of getting up, going to the bathroom, sitting back down, getting up and getting water, and every other distraction I could think of, I got him naked and curled up behind him under the blankets with my arms around his waist. I got out some anal beads we'd bought a while ago and never used.
"You want to do it like this?" I asked him.
"Yeah," he said. Tentative, nervous. I like that.
I spread his ass cheeks and pushed the first bead inside. This convulsive shiver went through him and I stroked his back, told him how good he was. Then I reached down and did another, and another.
"Stop there for now," he said. He had that tone in his voice that he uses when he's feeling submissive, soft and gentle and sweet. It makes me want to do awful things to him.
I wrapped one arm back around his waist and grabbed his cock with the other. He was rock hard, which normally doesn't happen when I play with his ass.
"Oh my god," I said. "You like this, don't you? You little slut."
"Yes, ma'am," he said. He was gasping; I've never seen anything like it. "Yes, yes. Your little whore."
"Can you take more?"
"I think so."
I slid the next three beads in, and he groaned and rubbed his ass up against me. It turned me on to see him thrashing, grinding, begging, filled up.
I flipped him over and he tried to jerk off but I slapped his hand away.
"No," I said. "I want to fuck you."
"Oh, please," he said. "Please fuck me."
Where's a condom when you need one? I fished around in the sex box and finally came out with one, ripped open the packaging, and unrolled it onto his cock while he thrust his hips up and down. I pulled up my skirt and slid myself down onto him. I hadn't realized until then how wet I was.
Now, in order to fully appreciate what happened next, you should know that while Tim is a brave man, he's been very hesitant about his ass, especially my ultimate hope for it: fucking it with a strap-on--and more than that, he doesn't usually like the idea of gender play. So what happened next was pretty extraordinary.
"Oh, God!" He thrust up into me from underneath. "Oh god, oh--we're going to buy you a strap-on, and you're going to fuck me in the ass, and I'm going to suck your big cock!"
I concur.
Friday, January 1, 2010
The (Second) List Arriveth
This is Tim's list of things to do in 2010. Some of them may have been influenced by talking to me, but I'm kind of surprised by how much they overlap. And I think this proves that he's as inventive as I am, and probably way kinkier--a point of much personal dispute. Enjoy.
TIM'S LIST
Get seduced/sexually distracted away from a game.
Teacher Student role play we did that freaked me out
Sitting in a chair. Why haven't we done that yet?
Prostate milking
Anal sex by both parties (not at the same time)
Clothed female nude male
I want to be a doctor or scientist and get to experiment on you
Rape you
Drug&rape me (alcohol will work for "drug"). Just taken advantage of when I am not all there mentally.
I want to have sex in a field. Like of flowers or wheat or something. Or in a forrest. Either/or
A whole day of you being the dominant one, not limited to sexual or non-sexual. Like a whole day.
Same as above, but opposite roles.
Angry sex. Or simulated angry sex. Something along those lines, I want to try it. This might go in to the whole "me raping you" thing.
Minor suspension bondage. If we can't find a place/way to do this, then we won't worry about it though.
School girl roleplay.
I want to be the dirty uncle/priest/teacher/authority figure
Somebody else watching. Either from a video tape or in the room or something.
Hot wax or hot glue gun
Some sort of interrogation scene.
To be quite honest, just reading this list makes me want to fuck him in at least three of the ways listed all at once. Sunday cannot possibly come fast enough.
TIM'S LIST
Get seduced/sexually distracted away from a game.
Teacher Student role play we did that freaked me out
Sitting in a chair. Why haven't we done that yet?
Prostate milking
Anal sex by both parties (not at the same time)
Clothed female nude male
I want to be a doctor or scientist and get to experiment on you
Rape you
Drug&rape me (alcohol will work for "drug"). Just taken advantage of when I am not all there mentally.
I want to have sex in a field. Like of flowers or wheat or something. Or in a forrest. Either/or
A whole day of you being the dominant one, not limited to sexual or non-sexual. Like a whole day.
Same as above, but opposite roles.
Angry sex. Or simulated angry sex. Something along those lines, I want to try it. This might go in to the whole "me raping you" thing.
Minor suspension bondage. If we can't find a place/way to do this, then we won't worry about it though.
School girl roleplay.
I want to be the dirty uncle/priest/teacher/authority figure
Somebody else watching. Either from a video tape or in the room or something.
Hot wax or hot glue gun
Some sort of interrogation scene.
To be quite honest, just reading this list makes me want to fuck him in at least three of the ways listed all at once. Sunday cannot possibly come fast enough.
The List Arriveth
Ah, the first of the year. The time for epic resolutions, new beginnings, and watching the relationships in my family devolve into petty squabbling over the TV remote. (Seriously, grownups?)
As it is the first of the year, I'm going to post my epic list of things I want to do in bed in the coming year. Other lists may follow soon, including the ten books I want to read in 2010, but this list has been formulating for a long time and gets priority. Greta Christina has a great list over at Blowfish of her sexual resolutions as well. Hers are more broad principles to apply, whereas mine are pretty specific. So without further ado, let me present to you--the list.
THINGS TO DO IN BED IN 2010
1. Sleep with a woman
This has been big on my to-do list since my sophomore year of high school, when I licked birthday cake off of the face of a six foot tall bisexual German Amazon. Now, thanks to Tim, it looks like it may actually happen.
2. Take the submissive role in a teacher-student roleplay
This is something I've wanted to happen for a long time; in fact, it was the first "kinky" thing I ever tried to talk someone into doing with me. It's high time it happened.
3. Fuck, and be fucked, in the ass
Tim and I have been dancing around this for a long time. It's happening, dammit.
4. Be worshiped.
This ought to be fun, in a practically vanilla kind of way. I want to be bathed, pampered, and fussed over, brought grapes and drinks and basically adored, all while being scornful and dismissive myself.
5. Do some medical roleplay
Rubber gloves, sponge baths, and maybe some "tests." Yes.
6. Make a porn.
What more explanation do you need?
7. Get more aggressive with hurting Tim
He can handle more, and I need to stop being such a wuss about it. Included in this is greater psychological suspense. He handled the last scene so well that I think I can definitely push him farther.
8. Get tied up and "molested."
We've played with this a little, but never for more than a few minutes. I'd like at least a half an hour of it.
9. Have semi-public sex of some kind.
A bathroom in a cafe? The pretty secluded roof of the building next to mine? Watch this space for further developments.
10. Go to at least one kinky or fetish event.
I'll probably be doing this one without Tim, because he's a pretty shy and private person, but I want to get out there and meet some other kinky people and see if there's something there for me. A good friend of mine has some contacts he's willing to help me explore.
And that's about it for my list. When Tim gets around to e-mailing me his, it'll go up too. Until then--imaginary readers, feel free to chime in with your lists for the new year, sexual or otherwise.
As it is the first of the year, I'm going to post my epic list of things I want to do in bed in the coming year. Other lists may follow soon, including the ten books I want to read in 2010, but this list has been formulating for a long time and gets priority. Greta Christina has a great list over at Blowfish of her sexual resolutions as well. Hers are more broad principles to apply, whereas mine are pretty specific. So without further ado, let me present to you--the list.
THINGS TO DO IN BED IN 2010
1. Sleep with a woman
This has been big on my to-do list since my sophomore year of high school, when I licked birthday cake off of the face of a six foot tall bisexual German Amazon. Now, thanks to Tim, it looks like it may actually happen.
2. Take the submissive role in a teacher-student roleplay
This is something I've wanted to happen for a long time; in fact, it was the first "kinky" thing I ever tried to talk someone into doing with me. It's high time it happened.
3. Fuck, and be fucked, in the ass
Tim and I have been dancing around this for a long time. It's happening, dammit.
4. Be worshiped.
This ought to be fun, in a practically vanilla kind of way. I want to be bathed, pampered, and fussed over, brought grapes and drinks and basically adored, all while being scornful and dismissive myself.
5. Do some medical roleplay
Rubber gloves, sponge baths, and maybe some "tests." Yes.
6. Make a porn.
What more explanation do you need?
7. Get more aggressive with hurting Tim
He can handle more, and I need to stop being such a wuss about it. Included in this is greater psychological suspense. He handled the last scene so well that I think I can definitely push him farther.
8. Get tied up and "molested."
We've played with this a little, but never for more than a few minutes. I'd like at least a half an hour of it.
9. Have semi-public sex of some kind.
A bathroom in a cafe? The pretty secluded roof of the building next to mine? Watch this space for further developments.
10. Go to at least one kinky or fetish event.
I'll probably be doing this one without Tim, because he's a pretty shy and private person, but I want to get out there and meet some other kinky people and see if there's something there for me. A good friend of mine has some contacts he's willing to help me explore.
And that's about it for my list. When Tim gets around to e-mailing me his, it'll go up too. Until then--imaginary readers, feel free to chime in with your lists for the new year, sexual or otherwise.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
My First Successful Scene, Part I: or, in praise of duct tape
Last night my boyfriend Tim came over, and I tied him up and raped him.
Well, sort of.
First we cuddled, and then we ate some pasta and some tuna salad, and cuddled a little more--no sense in rushing things--and then at about seven-thirty, we started trying to tie him up.
This turns out to be way harder than it sounds, and it pretty much required Tim's full participation plus suggestions. This is at least partially because our bondage materials consisted of the following:
-Two belts with regularly spaced holes along the entire length (I highly recommend these; apparently they come from Wal Mart);
-One regular ol' belt;
-One hand-knit bondage rope (very good for restraining small people, such as me;
-An old TV cable; and
-Lots and lots of duct tape.
Using all of these materials, I eventually managed to bind Tim's hands to his legs and get his legs tied together. He thought he might still be able to get out, so he suggested I string the TV cable under the mattress and tie it across his body. So of course I had to get him out of his restraints so he could get off the mattress. But once we got the cable across him, we were, as they say, in business.
"You ready?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Hey," he said. "I'm gonna use the safeword if I need you to stop, okay? If I beg you to stop...that's good."
I nodded. And then I blindfolded him.
The first thing I did as soon as the blindfold was on was to take off my shoes. I kicked them off as quietly as I could (giant stilettos are sexy but useless) and then I started pondering.
I didn't come up with a plan before I started, and I'd been nervous about that, but it's amazing how easily that dissipated when I was faced with a naked man to play with. I started by not touching him at all, just walking around the bed looking at him from different angles. I leaned down so that my hair trailed over him and blew a little air over his skin. He flinched. Beautiful.
I grabbed my hairbrush off the bed beside him and trailed the bristles down his body, and then slid it around and slapped the exposed underside of his thigh. He pushed both legs flat against the bed and whimpered a little.
I crawled up onto the bed beside him and lifted the corner of the blindfold to whisper in his ear. Just one word. "Hello." I said it softly, cheerfully, maybe with a hint of seduction.
"Who are you?" he asked, a tremor in his voice.
I lifted his blindfold.
"No one you know," I said.
And then I slapped him hard across the face.
Face-slapping is usually off-limits for him, but he said it was okay in this scene, and I went to town. It's something I love, that and hair-pulling, and since I was in charge, I took full advantage. At one point I was stroking his cock with one hand and raking red marks across his chest with the fingernails of the other, and I thought I saw him smile.
"Are you LAUGHING at me?" I asked. He shook his head. I backhanded him anyway, hard enough that his cheek went red. He shuddered from head to toe and began to whimper.
"Please," he said softly. "Please stop."
I didn't.
[To be continued...]
Well, sort of.
First we cuddled, and then we ate some pasta and some tuna salad, and cuddled a little more--no sense in rushing things--and then at about seven-thirty, we started trying to tie him up.
This turns out to be way harder than it sounds, and it pretty much required Tim's full participation plus suggestions. This is at least partially because our bondage materials consisted of the following:
-Two belts with regularly spaced holes along the entire length (I highly recommend these; apparently they come from Wal Mart);
-One regular ol' belt;
-One hand-knit bondage rope (very good for restraining small people, such as me;
-An old TV cable; and
-Lots and lots of duct tape.
Using all of these materials, I eventually managed to bind Tim's hands to his legs and get his legs tied together. He thought he might still be able to get out, so he suggested I string the TV cable under the mattress and tie it across his body. So of course I had to get him out of his restraints so he could get off the mattress. But once we got the cable across him, we were, as they say, in business.
"You ready?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Hey," he said. "I'm gonna use the safeword if I need you to stop, okay? If I beg you to stop...that's good."
I nodded. And then I blindfolded him.
The first thing I did as soon as the blindfold was on was to take off my shoes. I kicked them off as quietly as I could (giant stilettos are sexy but useless) and then I started pondering.
I didn't come up with a plan before I started, and I'd been nervous about that, but it's amazing how easily that dissipated when I was faced with a naked man to play with. I started by not touching him at all, just walking around the bed looking at him from different angles. I leaned down so that my hair trailed over him and blew a little air over his skin. He flinched. Beautiful.
I grabbed my hairbrush off the bed beside him and trailed the bristles down his body, and then slid it around and slapped the exposed underside of his thigh. He pushed both legs flat against the bed and whimpered a little.
I crawled up onto the bed beside him and lifted the corner of the blindfold to whisper in his ear. Just one word. "Hello." I said it softly, cheerfully, maybe with a hint of seduction.
"Who are you?" he asked, a tremor in his voice.
I lifted his blindfold.
"No one you know," I said.
And then I slapped him hard across the face.
Face-slapping is usually off-limits for him, but he said it was okay in this scene, and I went to town. It's something I love, that and hair-pulling, and since I was in charge, I took full advantage. At one point I was stroking his cock with one hand and raking red marks across his chest with the fingernails of the other, and I thought I saw him smile.
"Are you LAUGHING at me?" I asked. He shook his head. I backhanded him anyway, hard enough that his cheek went red. He shuddered from head to toe and began to whimper.
"Please," he said softly. "Please stop."
I didn't.
[To be continued...]
Monday, December 7, 2009
On New Beginnings
Last night, two things happened that caught me by surprise. The first was that I was reading the blog Sexual Intelligence (http://sexualintelligence.wordpress.com/) and my boyfriend, frying pancakes in the kitchen, asked me what I was up to.
"Sex blogs," I said. "I read them all the time."
"You should write one."
"Eh, I've considered it," I said. "Not enough experience."
"That's a new angle."
We have a lot of conversations like this, like a recent one where I talked him into starting a religion. And so I figured that it wasn't a bad idea, and I'd start it with the new year. Until later that evening he asked me if I'd please do a scene with him later this week. And English major that I am, my first thought was "boy, I wish I had a forum to write about this analytically."
Now, we've both been playing around with various BDSM things for a while. There's been some giggly spankings, light bondage, anal play, and a whole lot of dirty talk. But the last time we tried to do anything like a formal scene was a while ago, and--to put it frankly--he got freaked out and basically curled up in the fetal position. We've been easing our way back into things ever since, and pretty recently we had a semi-serious attempt at a scene that he got through okay.
But this is going to be pretty hardcore. He knows what he wants, this boy: he wants to have his hands tied behind his back and his legs strapped together, and then he wants me to torture and eventually "rape" him. And while I'm absolutely excited, I'm terrified that I'm going to push him over the edge. Of course, we've got a safeword (and we tend to respect the "argh! Stop that!" rule--i.e., if someone's clearly irritated and not into it, you stop.) But he tends to be a pleaser and I'm worried he'll let things get further than he'd like if he thinks it'd spoil my fun to stop.
I got him to give me a clear list of things that are too much, and he rattled off some things I'd never have thought of--messing with his personal possessions, knife play--and I started to feel a little better, since his limits are things that didn't even occur to me, as well as some things that I thought about but figured were pretty much out of the question. It's good to know that we're pretty much on the same page about what's okay.
And so here I am, anxious but on the edge of my seat. And that's not even counting the fact that it's finals week. I'm torn between my desire to ace my exams in the morning and my urge to spend the whole night plotting.
I wonder if I can get ahold of some mini clothespins.
"Sex blogs," I said. "I read them all the time."
"You should write one."
"Eh, I've considered it," I said. "Not enough experience."
"That's a new angle."
We have a lot of conversations like this, like a recent one where I talked him into starting a religion. And so I figured that it wasn't a bad idea, and I'd start it with the new year. Until later that evening he asked me if I'd please do a scene with him later this week. And English major that I am, my first thought was "boy, I wish I had a forum to write about this analytically."
Now, we've both been playing around with various BDSM things for a while. There's been some giggly spankings, light bondage, anal play, and a whole lot of dirty talk. But the last time we tried to do anything like a formal scene was a while ago, and--to put it frankly--he got freaked out and basically curled up in the fetal position. We've been easing our way back into things ever since, and pretty recently we had a semi-serious attempt at a scene that he got through okay.
But this is going to be pretty hardcore. He knows what he wants, this boy: he wants to have his hands tied behind his back and his legs strapped together, and then he wants me to torture and eventually "rape" him. And while I'm absolutely excited, I'm terrified that I'm going to push him over the edge. Of course, we've got a safeword (and we tend to respect the "argh! Stop that!" rule--i.e., if someone's clearly irritated and not into it, you stop.) But he tends to be a pleaser and I'm worried he'll let things get further than he'd like if he thinks it'd spoil my fun to stop.
I got him to give me a clear list of things that are too much, and he rattled off some things I'd never have thought of--messing with his personal possessions, knife play--and I started to feel a little better, since his limits are things that didn't even occur to me, as well as some things that I thought about but figured were pretty much out of the question. It's good to know that we're pretty much on the same page about what's okay.
And so here I am, anxious but on the edge of my seat. And that's not even counting the fact that it's finals week. I'm torn between my desire to ace my exams in the morning and my urge to spend the whole night plotting.
I wonder if I can get ahold of some mini clothespins.
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